My story starts in 1980When I was young and far less weightyA career I needed, I could do worseI decided to train to be a nurse.

I passed my A levels – I’m no fool And off I went to nursing school I started off, thinking what the heck! In a pale blue uniform with a white check.

Anatomy and physiology All those long words – all Greek to me! Then off to the wards we all were sent For our very first clinical placement

We learned to do the nursing jobsMake beds, do dressings, give medicines,do obs,

Recording fluids – tea, water and juiceTesting urine in the sluice

None of us students were great fansWhen patients needed to use bed pansOh yes we learnt those nursing tricksOn medical, surgical and orthopaedicsOne of the highlights – this isn’t a maybeWas maternity and seeing the birth of ababy

Assisting the doctor with surgeryOperating theatres – not my cup of teaI quite enjoyed the children’s wardSo much to do you never got bored

My training flew by very fast And soon my state finals I had passed A staff nurse it was truly me With a job in gynaecology

Four years later and going well And then my body began to swell I had a secret up my sleeve I would soon be going on maternity leave I now must bring you up to date

And tell you of my current fate I’ve done mad jobs but this is less sillier I work with patients with haemophilia A condition sometimes hard to spot When blood is slow or will not clot

I’m doing a job I like – I’m blessed And so dear reader you know the rest The ups, the downs, good days and bad Days that nearly drive you mad Through gritted teeth I often smile But somehow it is all worthwhile

My knowledge I am always sharing To help young boys become self-caring An achievement of which they often brag But they wouldn’t do this if I didn’t nag

So now dear reader I need to endI’ve got patients waiting for me to mendJust one more thing I need to saySee you all at HNAFingers crossed I’ll get timeTo read you another crazy rhyme.